Vote for Me

If I was in charge of the Universe, the flu would come with a servant and $500 cash.

 

If I was in charge of the Universe, cars would have LCD monitors that displayed to other drivers, “I’m so sorry” “Get your act together” or “Put the freaking phone down.”

If I was in charge of the Universe, computer keyboards would have a “Dumb@ss” button, which—when pressed—would announce just before restoring your iTunes library:  “That’s okay!  I’m sure you’re good at OTHER things.”

 

If I was in charge of the Universe, every disagreement would have a reset button.

 

If I was in charge, each parent would be trained in biofeedback and each child would come with a therapy animal.   Each teenager would practice meditation, and each young adult would have a paid internship at Nonviolent Communication Skills University.

 

If I was in charge, we’d all wear “mood indicators,” with a manual override feature for job interviews and poker games.

 

If I was in charge of the Universe, there would be a vitamin that cured society of epidemics of “Blowhard.”

 

And random acts of kindness would be too few.

 

If I was in charge of the Universe, the wagging of my dog’s tail would electrically power the intensity of my happiness.

 

If I was in charge of the Universe, jiggling would be an exercise.

 

And water, the fountain of youth.

 

…………….

My name is Cloud Nine.

Vote for me.

 

Libra Sun, Aquarius Moon; Venus in Scorpio. I think that just about covers it.

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