Laughing out loud is fun

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A pet-sitting client got this book for me–a bit of an inside joke–and I laughed pretty hard, and then bored my daughters with, “Oh, girls! ¬†Listen to this one.”

That Top Shelf

I think I can jump to that top shelf
I want to jump to that top shelf
I know I can jump to that top shelf
I am jumping to that top shelf
I missed that top shelf by a good six feet
And now everything is on the floor
And I’m left wondering
Why people even bother buying china
If it breaks so easily

Elegy for A Toy I Broke

You no longer jingle
You no longer roll
You no longer do anything
Since I had to see what made you work

I can’t deal with all this guilt
I can’t express my deep, deep grief
I can’t believe what a cheap piece of crap you were
Seriously, I hardly touched you before you broke

And then there’s this poem about getting neutered–called “Seriously!?”–which I didn’t share with them because they are far too somber about male sex organs–avoiding the subject with the intensity of a couple of deviants–to ever laugh about such a thing.

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