When I think of the people who have gone out of my life as a result of this new time of naked ugly truth–“family”, friends, those who cannot find their voice of empathy in this new America; those who in a different time might have been okay with families being carted off on trains–there are moments when I chastise myself for being unable to love bigger; I feel bad for being unwiling to accept another’s path, knowing from my own experience that often the journey is one moment then another of flawed thinking. I feel bad that I don’t have contact with my brother, and my dad, and my mom; I feel like I “should” be making amends, reaching out in compassion. I worry; what if they’re scared or grieving and my actions are heartless? What if I’m being the same person I despise, lacking the tolerance that affords the wiggle room of compassion which allows painful times of seperation to become learning moments?
But….then I watch this, look at where we are and realize that I’m stuck within the old thinking. I see my world and am trying to make it fit within a system of thought telling me that I’m one person, living in one time, experiencing one moment, and trying to exact one result when really…when you really experience the deep breath of who you are–when you allow your mind to skip over all the bullshit you’ve always tried to hold onto as “you”; when you extract yourself from the limiting equation of who you think you are–the singularity becomes barren.
For this man, his people, them/her/him; all of those are just labels humans have given for “us”, and when your mind becomes free of judgment, location, equation, labels, and the undertow of conditioned beliefs, you become free to the experience that we’re not just one person/one soul, one moment, one event, and one result; we’re all souls through all time, speaking shalom to a frightened kid in a foxhole, and able to love in a boundless sense that at the end of all things, we’re all family.
And when you’re all family, loving bigger is the quilt of experience we can all be warmed by; it’s thinking outside the box until such time as there is no box, and no time, just a floating within boundless joy, reaching out to selves and soul and seeing the faces of those we forgot we loved.
And loving bigger is nothing we’ve ever done and yet (I feel very strongly) has always been truth; it’s releasing ourselves to absolute nothing to feel the everything we never knew existed.
And it is my hope–in this new day, within this new nake truth–that we may we all find that new path, today and forever.