Middle Ages

Fun Middle Age Online-Dating Fact: When you’ve hit it off but haven’t met irl, and he’s starting to confess via text the three things that might make you bail in order of severity and No. 1 is that he still lives with his ex-wife and No. 2 is that he has genital herpes for the love of God, DO NOT ASK WHAT NO. 3 IS.
But if you HAVE to know what #3 is…if for example, after #2, you’ve decided there’s no way you’ll see him at all ever because you’re only committed to him via light sexting and aren’t turned on by open genital sores yet still MUST find out what is worse than #1 and #2? Then don’t be surprised when he tells you that #3 is that he makes his entire annual salary in just a few weeks each year by going out to California and filming fetish porn–“Ladies humping pillows, that kind of thing”–with his ex-wife and that your head bobs up and down in confirmation that he got the ordering just right.

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