2016 Liberation of Boobs

I’m walking Quinn and we had to sprint past a very angry sprinkler for the length of one house and in that short burst, My bra decided it’d had enough of this gd shit (didn’t sign up for this level of jiggling, etc) and starting with the left strap, began to shimmy it’s way off … Continue reading 2016 Liberation of Boobs

Spider veins like a samurai

Spider veins: one of the lesser-known signs of the apocalypse. A moment of gratitude for joining me on this journey especially if you’re here without judgment and aren’t either full of shit or full of yourself which are actually exactly the same thing. I personally hope I am neither of them yet could also entertain … Continue reading Spider veins like a samurai

Smrt Shopper

“Do you need a bag for this?” when you’ve forgot your reusable. Like I’m gonna ruin my planet for a plastic bag not even strong enough to scoop the cat box offerings into. When, obviously, I don’t need a bag, dumbo; I’m perfectly fine doing what I always do which is carrying it exquisitely stacked … Continue reading Smrt Shopper

Calling it

I don’t buy things for myself very often. My deal is that when you keep buying--thoughtlessly proceeding into consumerism--you never calm your self enough to discover the truest source of happiness. It’s not about the shoes; it’s never about the shoes. But I gotta say I think I’m calling it on these ratty pieces of … Continue reading Calling it

Donated shorts

Sometimes when you rise in the morning, the light in the room holds echoes of the ancestors and other worlds, and in a speechless wisdom of such purity you can hear them saying: “No. Don’t wear those shorts; they shrunk and you’re already bloated.” And sometimes you’re wise and you listen, and sometimes you gotta … Continue reading Donated shorts

Finding/Making Another Dante Circle

And life is too short and too long to live in perpetual dissatisfaction of the moment you find yourself within but what a load of complete bullshit that ends up being when your “moment” consists of five panting, completely-terrified former feral kittens (your first Best Friends Animal Society foster kittens of the year) and an … Continue reading Finding/Making Another Dante Circle