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February 10, 2019February 10, 2019 Amy Palleson

Impermanence (permanently)

Blogs are categorized by the date the main event happened (e.g., “1998” for the birth of my first daughter, “2001” for post about September 11th, etc); post date is based upon when they were written/revised.

When all you can really do is hope things never get so bad that you’re okay with your flaccid tongue hanging out like you forgot it’s even there. #cats #cat #mycatyuki #mydogLady #dog #dogs #catstagram #dogstagram #catsanddogs #pet #pets #saltlakecity (Truth be told, Yuki was laying on the couch with me and Lady catapulted over her towards me and Even though Lady’s bum was touching Yuki, they’ve worked out an uneasy peace where Yuki doesn’t flinch no matter how dorky Lady acts because it’s part of the “cat code of infinite superiority” where she’s knows it’ll be okay since she can just beat Lady down later for what will appear as “seemingly no reason”).

Two years I’ve been sitting for this girl. And yesterday was the first time she even came over to me let alone purred and offered head rubs. Two years. Sitting there for 30 minutes each visit to hiding, cautiousness; eventually agreeing to bat at a string for a bit before leaving her sister Stella and I to our own devices. Two years. It’s just shocking. 🌿🌿 I’m a pretty extroverted person now but growing up, I was shy to the point where if somebody talked to me or I was called on in class, or anything, my face turned bright red. And it was challenging, and called even more attention to myself—making all the spelling and math bees I participated in an incredible stress. But I think it helped me understand that extroversion—while idolized in our society—is an engagement with the world before assessment and reflection can occur, and it is in fact the introverts—those who learn by watching and quietly assessing—like Norah here, who in not rushing makes it so we learn how to engage in the flow of a pace that helps us all feel safe. So celebrate introversion; celebrate patience; celebrate taking time to respect someone else’s flow. #cat #cats #introverts #introvert #catstagram #catsofinstagram #pet #pets #petsitting #petsitter #saltlakecity

“Look at him. Like he’s all Big Bubba of the Deck. What a jerk.” #cat #gossip #cats #squirrels #catstagram #catsofinstagram #pet #pets #petsitting #petsitter #saltlakecity (Harris and Mr. Baby; photo credit to my daughter Livy. Nice shot!)

When the family dog (the humans brought home without even asking you) just figured out your Petcube and now you’re the one who has to deal with the fallout of probably never being obese. [Actually, I feel certain nothing will get in the way of Kiki being obese; he’s very focused. Like an athlete. But we finally set the Petcube up again yesterday after realizing Lady’s chewing phase was probably mostly over, and she pretty quickly figured out what to do which meant we had to move it somewhere that would allow Kiki to be nearly as obese as he always dreamt he could be so please don’t send any Temptations to that go fund me he set up. Someone asked me about Lady yesterday and I realized I hadn’t made a post in a while but she is wonderful; Julia is working on getting her acclimated to other dogs because she doesn’t seem to like them very much except for her best pal Joey (who admittedly is quite the jack Russell charmer) and based on her sleeping habits and sense of calm, is feeling very comfortable and secure. Pic 6 is where she was trying to figure out why I was making weird noises] #cats #cat #dogstagram #petcube #dog #dogs #family #rescue #love #saltlakecity

Trees are friends who make stillness of our thoughts. Welcome back, guys. #spring #utah #winter #beginnings #endings #growth #dog #dogs #trees #nature #calm #zen #beauty #truth #dogsofinstagram #dogstagram #pet #pets #petsitting #petsitter #saltlakecity (Greta; pics not taken recently but the sentiment is current)

“Well I’m certainly not going to be shamed by a member of the selfie generation; worms are the avocado toast of a terrier’s life and entirely complimentary—from the street and everything—so I think I know what I’m doing.” #dog #dogs #dogsofinstagram #dogstagram #pet #pets #petsofinstagram #petstagram #saltlakecity (Mildred; this dog! I put the account on private—and changed it after I posted this—but I don’t think Mildred cares how popular she is unless you’re standing near the pantry)

A vintage dress just isn’t the same without a little fur. #cats #cat #vintage #furcat #catsofinstagram #catstagram #saltlakecity #pibbs [This is my daughter Livy after walking out of the house in her recently purchased vintage dress at which point she immediately scooped up the neighborhood grifter we call Henry (but his family actually named Raider which is so lame because don’t they know he’s a “Henry”; see February 21st post about him if he’s just that intriguing) who she dotes on about which he expects and obviously approves. Oh and for the record: not condoning fur. At all. Blech] [Also, if you know my daughter, a text saying that you love her would be super right now. ❤️]

Repost: And I’m walking Greta and Tala and thinking about grief because I’m putting my dog to sleep today sometime between 11 and three, and I asked the vet to text a half hour before he arrives to give me a chance to run home since I’ve been doing my 15 hour workday stretches for weeks, plus I’m moving and the order in which to triage the chaos is like looking in every direction for due north because your entire system is malfunctioning. And it’s a cool morning, and the girls’ fur sways to our movement. And I look to the sky and think of my dog; how she came to me while I was living a life I can’t even now see and grew with me and I with her, and how this week, I’ve been fighting this day with steaks hastily-cooked, trying to get her to eat so she doesn’t vomit up her meds. Since certainly something will work so she can end her days without chaos, with my daughters and friend Ellen and I surrounding her in the new place. Certainly we can fight this day so as to ease her out of this life enveloped in the peace akin to going from one room in her home to another. 🌿 And I ask the sky for a story about perseverance that my heart could beat beyond pain. But instead she showed me the dawn of this day, when I woke to my dog by my bed (now a mattress on the floor) and softly placed my hand to her back to thank her for the gift of our journey. For that I could rise into my life knowing to believe in such selflessness was the calm in a frenetic world in which all other clamor to speak. And as my hand rests on her back, the clouds part for wisdom. 🌿 For that we both lived to make our journeys a little easier, it will forever be so. 🌿And the sky then said, ‘Amy, there is no grief; there is only love.’ And the mountains agreed. And I inhaled deeply for I knew it was true. [Julia reminded me it’s been one year so I thought I’d post this along with a few pictures of our foster kittens using her as Mount Everest/playground. They would glom on to her tail like it was dinner and she’d wag. Carmela’s vibe hangs on our new girl Lady, which adds another layer for in the new so it is that we fashion more memories]

The outrage you feel when you just want another treat but sitters getting all up in your face, ruining what could have been a beautiful moment, like does she even really care? #guineapigs #guineapig #weekweek #pet #pets #petsitting #petsofinstagram #petsitter #saltlakecity (Finn)

It was a very important meeting discussing purring and head rubs to the knee and ripped pants (fashioned from laps just as comfortable as those in fancy pants). #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #pet #pets #petsitting #petsitter #saltlakecity (Lucy and Kitten; The real story behind this picture is that the black kitty, Lucy, has spent many trips over a few years, hanging back and not really engaging but this trip, she walked straight over to me for playtime and petting and this is the second family this week in practically the same exact neighborhood, that I’ve seen the same exact type of change in an animal. And it might seem like a no-brainer, that of course an animal would meet you in the middle, since just the passage of time would lead to such an eventuality. But to me, nothing is an eventuality—every second is a tipping point—and for a lot of these animals, this transition signals to them that the world is a safer place than they ever thought it was. And that transition is often permanent and transferable)

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