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Tag: humor

February 25, 2019February 25, 2019 Amy Palleson

Stolen coats

Blogs are categorized by the date the main event happened (e.g., “1998” for the birth of my first daughter, “2001” for post about September 11th, etc); post date is based upon when they were written/revised.

Lola+Tissue Paper+Again. #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #petsitter #petstagram #petsitting #instacat #catlife #tissuepaper #showtime #saltlakecity (More Lola plus Tissue Paper at post of February 17 of this year;, both posts which explain why on her birthday this year, I got her a gift bag containing new tissue paper knowing that wearing tissue paper is where the rubber meets the road on expendability)

“And what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to be moved out of your way and add even more stuff to your plate and I’ve been hearing really good things about laundromats and that, like, they even use coins.” #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #instacat #catslife #petsitting #petsitter #petstagram #saltlakecity (Lola)

Thank you everyone. I’m back on duty. We had a great time plus even though I didn’t drive at all for two days I’ve only gotten lost during morning sits three times—twice when driving to my own house—so I think everything’ll gradually be okay-ish. :). But really: thank you!

Declawed, toothless, recently-rescued senior cat “Snaggle” trained to do tricks for treats thus living the truth “you do what you gotta do.” No judgment, Snaggle; we’ve all been there. [And on that note, this is post 517 on 5/17/19, exactly 21 years after my first child was born 7 weeks early at Fairfax Hospital in Fairfax, VA. No one knows why I went into labor early but they told me that day she could die, be blind or severely sight-impaired, may have suffered neurological damage, could be there up to 2 months, and whether she even lived or died depended upon ever-changing variables the doctors themselves weren’t always sure of except to say ‘girls typically fare better than boys,’ and ‘lets hope she’s a fighter’. I was scared and worried and it felt like things were uncontrollable and collapsing—they stuck her head six times to start her IV—and I fell into “Why me? Why her?” until a few days in, I remembered the words of some random guy giving an interview on TV about his hardship who said “why do people only ask ‘why me?’ when bad things happen to them? They need to ask ‘why me?’ about the good things too.” And sometimes all you need to wake you up is a sliver of someone else’s wisdom and the power of your wholeness, and so it is that I saw her as the gift she is and loved without boundary and nine days after being born, Julia Trinity Plimpton was released from the hospital, and today left for Vegas (I’m joining later) as the same fighter she left the hospital as. May every day today and always—for you and yours, human, furry—strive to be the gift of such a “Why me?” And Snaggle, we gonna follow your lead buddy and do what we gotta do down there. :) Thank you everyone for your flexibility about me being gone this weekend as well as for indulging me in my tribute to my baby] [In case you don’t know, Julia is second from left, my other baby Livy is on the far right, Ellen is the one getting hugged and Colton is far left; I did specifically push to get post 517 done by this date because Julia has a thing for the number and she did work pretty hard at surviving and stuff so I thought I’d throw her this one]

“Trying to camouflage against the chair like I wouldn’t even notice. Like somehow all I am is the ineptitude of your toxic lies.” #playtime #string #cats #cat #catstagram #catsofinstagram #instacat #pet #pets #petsitter #petsitting #saltlakecity (Mena)

“The first time someone said ‘play dead’ I thought ‘what a freaking sicko’ but doing it has been kind of a gravy train and, honestly, it’s like: their psychological problems aren’t really even my business.” #dogs #dog #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #humor #instadog #pet #petsitter #petsitting #saltlakecity #countdownto517 (Tala)

“And I wanted him to feel like part of a family so I said, ‘Puppy, this ball is mine. In fact, the toys are mine, the people are mine, and all the areas you see are mine. But hey: don’t worry about it, buddy; we’ll get there.’” #cat #cats #humor #catstagram #catsofinstagram #catsitting #petsitter #petsitting #saltlakecity (Spot)

“It’s not an emergency per se but I don’t love this flavor and I think we both know how dangerous emotional tailspins can be.” #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #instacat #humor #petsitting #petsitter #saltlakecity (Bernie; on a previous sit, he wouldn’t eat one flavor of food so I assumed that was the problem this time too and opened a new can with the intention of giving the old can to his brother and got a good laugh when he took one look at the new flavor, looked up at me with this face of pure disappointment and walked off. I’m creating divas every day. That’s what I do)

“It’s my ‘cone of blame’ because monsters did this to me and I know who they are and they live here.” #cone #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #pet #pets #petsitter #petsitting #saltlakecity (Dexter has a skin condition which causes intermittent hot spots that he itches raw but he doesn’t care about all that; he just needs the abuse to stop and the cone to come off so he can live a normal life with bloody hot spots)

“The fact that this isn’t my house isn’t really the point; the point is that I have no idea what’s even in there.” #curiosity #BandE #cat #cats #catsofinstagram #catstagram #pet #pets #petsitting #petsitter #saltlakecity (Snaggle)

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