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on a path to wherever

Tag: middle age

Hair jumps ship

The moment you realize your once-dark hair kinda seems like it’s starting to say “fuck it.” Come on, guys. Keep it together. Not now.

August 27, 2019 Amy PallesonLeave a comment

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Pet sitter Instagram

“Bye, guys. See you on the other side of winter.” #leaves #grass #saltlakecity (I’m not a lover of autumn for a variety of reasons but it does keep me attuned to the rhythm of the planet and for that I’m grateful. When the winter solstice hits though and the daylight begins to grow as we start to shift, I become enlivened, as if each day is a gift of the sun) (i’ve determined I’m moving my stuff to Flickr—Under my name Amy Palleson or aimless1001. I’m not actually accepting any more sitting families right now anyways, and this whole thing with Instagram and their algorithm and pre-determining who will even see this post is just not my flow. It feels like I’m fighting something invisible and pointless and the ease of the platform here doesn’t justify their inability to allow free speech to be free. Charge me, please, rather than restrict access, IG; ‘cause making me pay in time and irritation is much more expensive. Also followers not liking posts is another reason posts aren’t seen). EDIT: In fact, this is probably gonna be my last post because I have to make a cut off point otherwise I’ll just keep going. I’m super busy and super tired and have to keep in mind that my actual job is the pet sitting of the animals and not this Instagram account. I wish it had worked out here because I’m not trying to get famous—I’m way too private for that—I’m just trying to do something I love and share it. you don’t need an account to view Flickr and please let me know if you’d rather I not post about your pet; if it is okay with you and I do post about your pet, I’ll send you a link if you aren’t on there. Anyways, thank you so much for everything you’ve ever offered here and even for sharing your beloved animals with me. I feel certain you know how much I care for them from a very authentic place. I’ll let you know what ends up happening with the book; I only submitted it that one place—exactly 12 weeks ago to the day—and they guaranteed a response whether yay or nay so not hearing anything gives me hope. I know they’ve been looking in on my stuff so they at least know all of my dysfunctions, as I hide very little from anyone. :)

“Do you for real not know what that word means or is this comedic moment actually kinda just, like...a little sad?” #chat #le #saltlakecity (so my girls can attest that when I transferred to UC Davis, I went on a big adventure/quest/pilgrimage and thought I would just jump right in and take French 1A without any experience at all in the language and I’m 51 now and I still talk about that class. Because come to find out, French is actually an entire language—that you speak and everything—so that five units of a C+ that tanked my GPA for a while was a lesson in embarrassment and ineptitude which I share at all opportunity lest anyone come to assume that adventures are adorable larks rather than red-faced stammering in front of experienced, incredulous Francophiles) (Mr. Cat)

Someday (maybe) we’ll be free of chaos and looking back at this time telling one another stories of our perseverance; of how we walked through the fire holding hands, humming lullabies to make each other brave. And on that day, in the breath of a new world, I will sing the tale of my story, about how Julia left Blue the magic of necklace-wearing kitties and how Dubie—the always-purring kitty—seemed placed upon this earth to remind people how much they wanted to love. And it’ll be sunny, and leaves will weave themselves into blankets upon the ground. (Blue is the sweet girl who my oldest tends who didn’t know anything about cats so they had a moment a few months ago when they saw one on their walk [p.s. I know the cat is a “she”] and Blue was fascinated, so they sat down to be with the kitty and Julia sent me this video after. Dubie is the graceful gentleman who just the other day made me have the thought “animals are here with us to show us how to love” for the experience of Dubie is knowing how much he misses his family and yet still runs to the door to see me and purrs as I carry him—even though it’s not as good as how his mom does—around the condo, and then without even so much as a peep from me, at the end of our time together, walks over to his food bowl as if he doesn’t want me to feel guilty for leaving. Anyways, our animals are such good teachers and may we all step up to that lesson in whatever way feels right for us. Sending good vibes to everyone for a good day).

“Part of my contribution to the family is trying to be the best role model I can be for people feeling anxiety and stress.” #saltlakecity (Jupiter, in his very first product placement for Smarty Kat)

[Repost; in memoriam] Come see me, Sophie, as you’re walking the blue twilight between worlds. Come see me, in that dream land, when the pain disappears, and the body absorbs into stars, and we can behold the sun as it rises on this first new day. Come see me, From your world beyond breath, when the boldness of your heart finds itself again, and in the unburdening from flesh you can see the magic of who you are. Come see me, Sophie, watching the tears of a Sophie-less morning, Then scamper off to the world you now belong to, catching joy like butterflies, looking back to see me (one more time) Quietly calm in the salty stream Daring the world to make me forget For as on the lawn that day and forever, with my hand stretched out, you reached back to me through Time, painting me into wholeness with vibrant splashes of your self, making my heart thump with happiness as your eyes held the wonder of the blue sky and the deep green, and the clouds watched and danced across the sun. [Sophie was a dog with a big personality--charming, funny, dramatic--adopted as a senior into a home with two other large dogs and, on the last trip I cared for her, went downhill to where I knew she'd be passing into the next life. So, through tears on our last visit—her family was racing to get back to her—while sitting on the dirty concrete of her backyard, I stroked her head, and told her to “come see me” from the realm to which she would soon pass. I wrote this poem when I got up the next morning—7/11/17—and Sophie‘s family got back and saw her off in the purposeful-dignity humans are often called on to step up to and, after, when I’d sit for the families two remaining dogs, sometimes at dusk, I'd be sitting in the yard (like all four of us used to do) I swear I’d see Sophie in the corner of my eye. The first time it scared me because--no matter my request that she come see me--my left brain is still very loud. But the next few times, I'd had time to find the acceptance that beyond non-quantum, not much is truly understood, and that it doesn't have to be. For it's almost an irrational idea that humanity could rise into the deep knowing beheld by a Universe we can't...

Senior fella Rudy and I slipped into warmth the other day and when he started purring, we discussed how lucky we were to be able to sit quietly in the sun. 🌿🌿. As of 7 PM tonight, I will be a resident of the lawless land also known as “unscheduled time,” embarking as I am on three days off. Thank you so much for the flexibility in finding others to cover your needed dates as well as for the birthday well wishes. It’s only three days but feels just right especially since I decided three days wasn’t long enough to leave town for a trip but was long enough to have a mid-life crisis, about which I’ve been hearing some pretty good things so am very excited. Anyways, joking aside, I may or may not be around IG but regardless: love to you and your fur folk, and I’m off to find the feeling of Rudy purring as we both sit quietly in the sun. Thank you!

“My policy is to immediately evacuate the vicinity of all kidney-health food because of the potential for spores.” #saltlakecity (Izzy’s feline fam is slowly transitioning to new kidney food because handsome Jack needs it but Isabella is not interested at all in risking it contaminating her body so when I set the bowl down next to her as she lay in bed, she immediately got up and walked away. Your move, Science Diet)

“Oh my gosh. Look at this pretty-boy bullshit.” #saltlakecity (About a year ago, outside-roamer, charmfest Anderson Cooper ran into Cheeto’s house and learned a powerful lesson about the limitations of being handsome and how a human that lives in a house can feed and adore you but that same human’s cats can want to take your handsome charm and wrap it very snugly around every single one of their front claws)

“All I’m saying is that I hope the fact that I don’t have the bird flu doesn’t stop you from getting out of my face so I can eat.” #saltlakecity (Esther and Marie; I’ve been bringing them romaine from home not only because they love greens but also because it’s possible there’s nothing more judgy than a chicken for whom you’ve left romaine at home. This morning I did just that so scoured the family garden for a replacement, and found Something they kind of liked, then after they ate it, they looked me up and down like ‘is that all?’ and while I tried to find something else, followed me around until I gave up finding anything, at which point the red one came over and with her beak, gave my shoe an intimidating taste test. So, yeah. I guess I’ll be bringing romaine tonight)

When you’re pretty sure sitter is phoning it in because being carried shouldn’t feel like this. You should feel like a regal goddess on parade; not like you’re a dog in someone’s arms who won’t stop whining about how hot it is. (Pic is Mildred yesterday and video is Mildred today; and she has experience with me carrying her—so awareness that it wasn’t my best work—because I do it quite frequently as does her Family. Mildred refuses to walk and that’s just part of her story but while she is a senior dog and we do indulge her, she could also stand to lose some width which means that every day is an unwritten recipe of calories and obstinance with Penny—new to the family—learning to be very patient with the “start, stop, lean down, cajole, charm, bribe?, pick up” process). #saltlakecity

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