Smrt Shopper


“Do you need a bag for this?” when you’ve forgot your reusable.

Like I’m gonna ruin my planet for a plastic bag not even strong enough to scoop the cat box offerings into. When, obviously, I don’t need a bag, dumbo; I’m perfectly fine doing what I always do which is carrying it exquisitely stacked just like this until I get out to my car and can’t open the door and the pile topples all over the shopping center’s parking lot.

So no, sis, thanks. But I’ve got it. And the lesson for you as I try and fail to find all these fucking cans under the cars is that I guess I’m a dipshit who apparently doesn’t need all of them anyway.