Finding/Making Another Dante Circle

And life is too short and too long to live in perpetual dissatisfaction of the moment you find yourself within but what a load of complete bullshit that ends up being when your “moment” consists of five panting, completely-terrified former feral kittens (your first Best Friends Animal Society foster kittens of the year) and an overheating car on the hottest day of the year with every vehicle in front of you from kitten pickup place to your residence in BFE [why do I live there? Who did this to me?!] acting as if the ONLY thing they’ve ever wanted to do in their life is taunt you like a matador with their brake lights.

And I was pretty powerfully high-octane as the engine temp needle inched to red zone—and the heater (turned on to cool down the car) blasted through the car the smell of kitten poop coming from the carrier of justifiably-panicked babies—and so it is that the five black and whites plus my daughter Livy received an anointment unbecoming of even the most basic state of human decorum when over the course of the half-hour journey they all became dipped in the blessed white-hot passion of “Mom is Completely Losing Her Fucking Shit.”

But all was not lost actually because, in the end, the babies arrived home safe without heat stroke (I turned on a/c when the car was moving and able to cool down a bit) and my cars block didn’t crack so, in retrospect, it was quite the learning moment. For I really don’t think you can ever truly understand gratitude until you’re finally released from Hell by opening the door of a stifling catshitmobile after 30 minutes of being locked inside with a deranged angry person screaming “you stupid fucking asshole” at a stranger’s brake lights.

What would my asshole cat do?

The collective anxiety right now is incredible; lots of people unable to feel a sense of safety so it’s coming out as worry, desire to control things and a reaching out for near-constant reassurance from the world which in other circumstances would be eased by their own effort via coping skills and established resilience.

If you are having a hard time—and pushing shit off a table seems unlikely to help—consider that while right now the world is in flux and things are changing and making it more challenging for us to adapt, you do not have to listen to the voice in your head that says we’re fucked. Because we’re bigger than thoughts, can do hard things, and in truth already do, all day every day, in waking up to a world flush with injustice, war and disconnection when all we really want is to spoon with our pet.

So if it’s one of “those” days, take a deep breath, know you’re doing a great job facing daily hardships, and when the anxiety hits, toss the thoughts into the river of unrealized experience, know they don’t have to be real and ask “what would my asshole cat do?”